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Bear Witness To The END OF DAYS, A Killer Mashup, And MORE!
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The Bite #89
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Bear Witness To The END OF DAYS, A Killer Mashup, And MORE!

December 17, 2019

In this Issue:


HORROR HISTORY: BEAR WITNESS TO THE END OF DAYS… AND A QUESTIONABLE SMOOTHIE

By Brian W. Collins*

After a risky heart surgery in 1997, Arnold Schwarzenegger took some time off from making movies, which lead to considerable audience anticipation for his big return. So it makes sense that he opted for End Of Days because he’d be fighting the actual Devil to save the world – the stakes had rarely been higher. But the movie was also a timely one when it was released in November of 1999 because the Devil had to pull off his plan by midnight on New Year’s Eve, and, at the time, we were all worried about the same moment; specifically, what might happen when the future threat of “Y2K” became the present.

Briefly mentioned in the film, the fear around the Y2K bug was that all of our computers would shut down as the clock turned over. Because all of the calendar-related code relied on two digits (“99”) instead of four (“1999”), this meant programs could, in theory, reset to “1900” and cause any manner of problems. Planes falling from the sky! Our bank accounts wiped out! Screenings of End Of Days interrupted by power failures!

As we now know, nothing of great significance happened; a few odd machines across the globe malfunctioned, but otherwise, everything kept running just fine. However, its mention in End Of Days allows this brief era of paranoia to live on, like a time capsule, in this fairly silly but still underrated Schwarzenegger flick. His character’s initials are “J.C.”, so we’re not dealing with a particularly subtle movie, and by the time he smirks and asks if the Devil’s plan has to be accomplished by midnight “Eastern time?”, it’s pretty clear we’re meant to be having fun. That said, it’s surprisingly gruesome at times, and not without its share of genuinely disturbing moments – it may contain several of Schwarzenegger’s action trademarks, but it manages to fit comfortably into the horror genre, as well.

This is a good thing because there aren’t a lot of New Year’s themed horror films. New Year’s Evil is one of the very few that works the holiday into its plot; most of the others, such as Terror Train, are set then but don’t really rely on anything about the occasion. By not only setting it on New Year’s Eve but the most important New Year’s Eve of anyone currently living, End Of Days established itself as the ultimate choice for the holiday and even included a drink recipe for you to enjoy as you watch the film. One last indulgence before your resolution to hit the gym goes into effect?

Jericho Cane’s Breakfast Smoothie:
1 cup coffee, with “enough caffeine to kill a horse”
1 cup Pepto-Bismol
1 half glass warm beer
1 cold chicken wing
2 boxes fried rice
1 slice of pizza, preferably from the floor
Blend on high for 30 seconds and serve directly from blender jar.


*Brian W. Collins is a writer for Birth.Movies.Death., Fangoria, and the author of Horror Movie A Day. He owns multiple copies of Bat Out Of Hell on vinyl despite having no turntable and will defend Jason Takes Manhattan until his dying day.


IMAGE OF THE WEEK

Image Of The Week #89 - Santas Raising The Stakes - The Bite

Santa’s Raising The Stakes

Sorry, Bela, but we think Ol’ Saint Nick’s got you beat. Well, Ol’ Boris Karloff, that is. Yep, that’s Karloff in the jolly man’s suit playing a friendly card game with Bela Lugosi circa 1940.


TINY BITES

BLACK CHRISTMAS, PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN AND MORE

BuzzFeed asked some folks for the movies that traumatized them and these are the results. Arachnophobia, anyone?

The best horror of the year lists keep rolling in, some showcasing fan favorites

… while others may surprise you with their picks.

And IndieWire ranked their top 12 female-directed horror films of the decade.

Your Christmas horror viewing isn’t complete without these seven recommendations from Forbes

… or Paste’s list of the top 15 Christmas horror movies.

SyFy Wire’s FanGrrls discuss Are You Afraid Of The Dark’s feminist horror legacy.

Sophia Takal spoke to The New York Times and Variety about making Black Christmas a #MeToo slasher, campus rape culture, and empowering young women.

A stunning trailer dropped for Killing Eve showrunner Emerald Fennell’s Promising Young Woman, and April can’t get here soon enough.

This is a killer way to use the Tomatometer – turns out 2019 was the best year for horror since the 1980s, and the only year with an average “certified fresh” rating.

C. Robert Cargill and Scott Derrickson are adapting a Joe Hill story after Doctor Strange: In The Multiverse Of Madness.

Artist Ella Frank Simkins transforms her hands into hauntingly beautiful works of horrific art, and we’re captivated.

Italian filmmaker Giulia Mucci has always been fascinated by the intersection of sex and horror – so much so that she’s starting her own porn production label, Horrorgasm.

Scare yourself – and your family – senseless this Christmas with these seven holiday ghost stories.


THINGS WE LOVE

Things We Love #89 - All I Want For Christmas Is The Beautiful People - The Bite

All We Want For Christmas Is This Killer Mashup

Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas” may be a universal classic, but we’re voting for YouTuber Bill McClintock’s mashup with Marilyn Manson’s “Beautiful People” as a new fan favorite. Show of hands?


HEY, THAT’S US! – SHUDDER IN THE NEWS

10 Best Horror Movies of 2019 – Rolling Stone (Tigers Are Not AfraidKnife+HeartLuz)

Shudder Scoops Up ‘Scare Me’ & ‘La Llorona’ Ahead Of Sundance Film Festival

Every scary series and horror movie hitting Shudder in January

9 movies now streaming you should watch right now (The Head Hunter)

The newly deceased hunt the living in trailer for Shudder TV’s The Dead Lands


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