Strange Christmas Horror, SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT And More!
In this Issue:
- Horror History: Ho Ho Huh? Strange Christmas Horror
- Image of the Week: “Sick, Sleazy, and Mean Spirited.”
- Tiny Bites – This Week’s Best Horror Headlines
- Things We Love: Wouldst Thou Like To Dress Stylishly?
- Hey, That’s Us! – Shudder in the News
HORROR HISTORY: HO HO HUH? STRANGE CHRISTMAS HORROR
By Matt Donato*
‘Tis the month of December on this edition of The Bite;
And here comes Donato, who’s pro festive fright.
You may know Krampus, psycho Santas, elves undead;
And evil jolly demons who’d paint the North Pole red.
But out of my sack I pull titles like Jack Frost;
Think Chucky, but a snowman, lest themes be lost.
Yet horror fans know of Jack’s yuletide rampage.
So I’ll dig even deeper, letting unknowns take the stage.
Now who is that swimming up the Christmas canal?
Why that’s Santa Jaws boasting a mean-streak most foul.
Sharp red-and-green teeth; a Kringle cap on his fin-fin,
All swimmers beware, you’re the next course for its din-din.
Yes, true, I’m praising a premiere from SYFY;
But Santa Jaws is sharky fun; no little white lie.
A teen’s comic comes alive, worth many a frown;
Santa Jaws and his candy horn, chomping through town!
A samurai slasher that tastes of deer meat?
That’s the weirdness of hillbilly headscratcher Blood Beat.
Mind powers, possessions, glowing auras, oh my!
A Japanese spirit proclaims all must die.
The ghost’s female vessel climaxes with each kill.
Sex, death, and ancient armors create quite the thrill.
Although not decked in tinsel like Clark Griswold’s tree.
Blood Beat is full of gonzo haunted glee.
Last but not least is now streaming on Shudder;
Deadly Games, new to viewers, is no lame duck-er.
A gem best described as Rambo meets Home Alone;
Small child vs. crazed mall Santa – not some robber clone.
Root for a boy who guards Gramps against harm;
Or howl at the moon when someone bites the farm.
It’s shameful this “battle” stayed unseen for so long.
Thank you, dear Shudder, for righting this wrong.
My gift, Christmas fans, are three zany terrors for picking.
Choose not a one and yourself you’ll be kicking.
So “Happy Horrordays,” and be sure to sleep tight.
“Merry Killsmas” to all, and to all a bloody night.
*Matt Donato is a freelance writer who analyzes cinema for outlets such as /Film, Collider, Bloody Disgusting, and Atom Insider. You can follow his work on Twitter, Instagram, and Letterboxd at @DonatoBomb.
IMAGE OF THE WEEK
“Sick, Sleazy, and Mean Spirited.”
One of the most iconic Christmas horror movies of all time, Silent Night, Deadly Night, reached cult status thanks to the very public uproar about its marketing content. It was removed from theatres a week after its release in 1984 and was shamed and disparaged by the likes of Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert on national television.
JUNJI ITO, BLACK CHRISTMAS AND MORE
M. Night Shyamalan insists that he is not a horror filmmaker, and that, consequently, films like The Sixth Sense are not horror.
BuzzFeed lists 13 horror movies so disturbing that they were banned at some point following their release.
Not all ghosts are terrifying. Check out these 10 loveable ghosts for proof.
Kaitlyn Herndon, a senior at Washington University in St. Louis, gave this amazing TEDxTalk on the role of horror in society.
Cracked made some stunning connections between Frozen 2 and … Annihilation? Yeah, you definitely read that right.
Here are some lesser-known horror gems from the past decade you really should check out, including the one with all the loyal stans – The Blackcoat’s Daughter.
Good Housekeeping has put together an excellent list of Christmas horror movies you need to stream this holiday season.
With just under a month left of the 2010s, it’s time for some “Best of the Decade” horror movie lists like this one from Looper.
Sophia Takal spoke with Entertainment Weekly about her “fiercely feminist” Black Christmas reimagining.
We included some Junji Ito items in our Ultimate Horror Holiday Gift Guide, but maybe you’re not familiar with his work. This article is the perfect primer to get to know the prolific horror mangaka.
And definitely check out some of his most terrifying stories.
Finally, find the perfect ghost story for your holiday reading from this list of incredible female horror authors, including the likes of Tananarive Due and Joyce Carol Oates.
THINGS WE LOVE
Wouldst Thou Like To Dress Stylishly?
Live deliciously in this The Witch-inspired tee from 14Eight. Probably one of our favorite items in our holiday gift guide, the metal-inspired shirt comes in different colors to better suit the horror fan in your family.
HEY, THAT’S US! – SHUDDER IN THE NEWS
Top 10 Shows Of 2019 (Creepshow)
Now Scream This: Gruesome and Gross Horror Movies to Indulge in This Thanksgiving (Nekrotronic, The Devil’s Rejects)
The Yuletide Guide: Must Have Items For A Horror Fan (Shudder subscription)