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The Three Drinks of Christmas: Holiday Horror Libations
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The Bite #140
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The Three Drinks of Christmas: Holiday Horror Libations

December 23, 2020

In this Issue:


HORROR HISTORY

The Three Drinks of Christmas: Holiday Horror Libations

By Harmony M. Colangelo

The holiday season is the coldest and darkest time of the year, so it only makes sense that it would blend so well with horror. With this year in particular, as we’re lacking the usual cheer most often associated with the holidays, I thought it’d be nice to give the gift of cocktails based on some of my favorite Christmas themed horror movies. Let’s add some extra meaning to the “Christmas spirits” with some at-home mixology!

How I Found Out There Was No Santa Claus (Gremlins) - The Bite

How I Found Out There Was No Santa Claus (Gremlins)

“Me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird, and instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit.” Still dressed in red, this drink has a uniquely warm, smokey undertaste that could only come from the holiday accident so morbid it broke the PG rating. This cocktail favors the flavors of traditional fruitcakes but spruces them up into something more pleasant. Best enjoyed slowly, you should avoid diving headfirst into this glass … or any chimneys.

– 2 oz brandy
– 2 oz cranberry juice
– 1 oz freshly squeezed blood orange
– 2-3 drops of hickory liquid smoke
– A pinch of cayenne pepper

Start by juicing your blood orange. I’m not going to sit here and blow smoke up your chimney chute (we have Liquid Smoke for a reason) by making these instructions longer than they need to be since this is a straightforward concoction. Add the proper measurements of your ingredients to your shaker with the tiniest pinch of cayenne pepper for just a little extra warmth. Lightly shake, strain, and serve over fresh ice.

Dag øf Mor (Santa’s Slay) - The Bite

Dag øf Mor (Santa’s Slay)

We may know December 25th as Christmas, but long ago it was known as the Dag øf Mor, a wondrous time when satanic hellspawn Santa Claus rose from his flaming pit of damnation after a thousand-year slumber to spread yuletide fear. This cocktail uses cold brew coffee and dark chocolate liqueur to keep you awake and on the lookout for when Santa comes to deliver more than just a lump of coal. It’s also strong and warm enough to defrost even the coldest of hearts.

– 2 oz Power’s Irish whiskey
– 1.5 oz dark chocolate Godiva Liqueur
– 1 oz cold brew coffee
– 0.5 oz simple syrup
– Pinch of Ground Cloves
– Milk or milk substitute
– Top with whipped cream and a light drizzle of grenadine

For this toasty delight, we’re going to learn how to make simple syrup. As the name suggests, it’s quite easy to make: combine one part sugar with one part boiling water on the stove or in the microwave. Make sure you remove the pot of boiling water from the stove before adding the sugar to prevent splashing.

I chose Powers specifically for this cocktail because of its spiced flavor and because Irish whiskey is right at home in warm drinks like a Hot Toddy.

Combine and heat your milk (or milk substitute), simple syrup, cold brew, and a pinch of ground cloves. If you are adding them directly to your mug, make sure there is room to add your alcoholic ingredients later.

Add your whiskey and Godiva liqueur to the mix, stir slowly, and top with whipped cream. I lightly drizzled Grenadine on top to simulate blood splattered across the snow for that extra gory flourish.

Peppermint Stabby Cane (Anna and the Apocalypse) - The Bite

Peppermint Stabby Cane (Anna and the Apocalypse)

“Christmas means nothing without you,” I whisper to my fourth round of sleigh bells and spirits. Whether it’s hordes of zombies in ugly holiday sweaters or any form of dread trying to knock down your door, you can always arm yourself with your very own candy cane cocktail to fend off impending doom. If Christmas is your least favorite “C” word, dance around your home to this film’s soundtrack and forget about the world, if only for a bit, like a proper festive legend.

– 2 oz chamomile infused Crystal Head vodka
– 1.5 oz simple syrup
– 1 oz peppermint schnapps
– 2 oz eggnog
– Ghirardelli peppermint bark

Our third cocktail requires the most planning since we’ll be infusing our vodka, which is exciting because it lets you add extra flavors to your alcohol without needing to purchase gimmicky ones. For the sake of this drink, you will need to add either a chamomile tea bag or chamomile flowers directly into your vodka. This can be in a separate container or the original bottle but you will need to let it soak for at least 24 hours.

If you want to expedite this process, you can also infuse simple syrup just by adding your chamomile to the hot water as though you were making tea.

Once it’s cocktail hour, you’ll need to finely chop your peppermint bark for the rim of your glass. To adhere your garnish, simply pour a small amount of simple syrup into a shallow dish and place your glass upside down in it to coat the rim, repeating this with your peppermint bark. You should be left with a light coating of peppermint chocolate.

Add your infused vodka, simple syrup, peppermint schnapps, and eggnog to a shaker of ice and give it a good jostle. Using a strainer, carefully pour it into your glass, making sure not to spill it over your beautiful rim. Finish your drink with a light dusting of peppermint bark.

And there you have it! Hopefully, you’ve picked up a few bartending tips and have gotten to enjoy some seasonal drinks along the way.

Whether you’re a musclebound Jewish professional wrestler playing Santa, a British girl singing musical numbers while skewering zombies, or anyone else in between, I hope you have a wonderful holiday, whichever you celebrate.

Merry Drinkmas to all and cheers to a better new year!


Harmony M. Colangelo is here to do some kickass writing and bartending, and she’s not done a lot of bartending this year. You can see those worlds collide in the recipe book A Year of Queer Cocktails. She has been published in Bloody DisgustingCertified Forgotten, We Are Horror, and The Bite.


IMAGE OF THE WEEK

Image of the Week #140 - Rob Sheridan Presents - The Bite

Fun for the Whole Family

‘Tis the season for gruesome gifts in Rob Sheridan’s twisted family portrait, “Presents Opening Children“. He’s remastered the darkly funny illustration as a 4k wallpaper just in time for the holidays.


TINY BITES

CHRISTMAS HORROR, STEPHEN KING, AND MORE

‘Tis the season for ghost stories according to Den of Geek’s exploration of Christmas’ longstanding scary stories tradition.

Learn more about Canadian novelist Robertson Davies’ penchant for Yuletide terrors and Dickensian ghost stories.

Stephen King spoke to The New York Times about TV adaptations of his work, including his adaptation of The Shining.

The New York Times took its King content one step further by looking at the history of The Stand and how it came to be its latest iteration.

Film School Rejects put together a list of their favourite video essays of 2020 with several horror entries including Mike Dougherty’s Everything I Need to Know to Survive #COVID19 I Learned by Watching Sci-fi & Horror Movies.

Meanwhile, Nerdist weighed in on the best horror of the year

… as did Den of Geek with their top ten picks of 2020

… and Thrillist with their gargantuan ranking of 75 horror titles released this year.

A Baltimore real estate agent has been hanging “NOT HAUNTED” signs below her listings to give prospective buyers some peace of mind.

This article postulates what we can expect to see from horror cinema in the years following COVID.


THINGS WE LOVE

Things We Love #140 - Waxwork Records Subscription - The Bite

Spin Me Right Round

Waxwork Records is offering their exclusive, deluxe subscription service for its seventh year in a row, featuring five remastered vinyls with all new artwork and tons of killer goodies throughout the year. Perfect for the horror fan audiophiles in your life.


HEY, THAT’S US! – SHUDDER IN THE NEWS

A Creepshow Holiday Special Official Trailer Brings the Ho-Ho-Horror

Review: ANYTHING FOR JACKSON is as close to hell as you’ll get and be happy about it – The Beat

Boston Film Critics Winners: LA LLORONA wins Best Non-English Film

Best horror movies of 2020 (Color Out of SpaceThe Mortuary CollectionHost)

Shudder Started Two Separate Lovecraft Cinematic Universes in 2020